I really hate questions like that. To answer them properly takes a lifetime and ends up with both of us sitting on Mt. Kailash in Tibet or your/my personal favorite holy site crying about the beauty of creation.

I'm a human being. I have a nice bio sheet that talks about my achievements and accomplishments--they are many. Just like my failures.

But that question of "Who are you?" is so provocative. The things that have shaped me and called me to define myself have been the disasters. We know about those. Here's one:

When my dad was killed in the middle of my first set of finals at Santa Clara University back in 1964, it rocked my world. The trauma was overwhelming. Not only could I not believe that such a powerful person could die, I went from a fancy house in Atherton with all the trimmings to living on $500 a month in a tiny apartment. That was a shock. The princess got knocked out of me fast.

If my writing seems philosophical and centered around, "Why are we here?" it's because I've had a few more of the above thrown at me.

It's also because I am an almost-philosophy major. When I got my BA in economics at Santa Clara University, everyone was required to minor in philosophy. I kept going and ended up two courses shy of a major.

I have two Master's degrees--economics and marriage, family, & child counseling. I was a PhD student at Stanford's Graduate School of Business. I've coached negotiations there. I've also taught, been a businesswoman, and an interior designer.

The idea for The Bloodsong Series, of which Numenon is the first book, slammed into me in 1995 after another crisis. I've been writing since 1995 and have maybe twelve books in draft from on my hard drive. I've been in a couple of writing groups for a total of eleven years, worked with editors and creative writing teachers honing my writing craft.

It must have worked; I won eight national awards with my first two books. Gratifying.

I backed into writing. My first career was in economics. I was project economist for two programs of the Santa Clara County Planning Department. Also was Santa Clara County Economic Analyst.

I've got all the professional bells and whistles that seemed so important in the early phases of my life. I think the major value of education is to give the student the discipline to do a good, thorough job. It's also useful in getting work. I get peevish about people who admire themselves too much because of their excessive schooling. I count some people who haven't been to school at all among my most highly regarded human beings.

I love horses. Have since I first saw them, I'm told. That occurred in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park when I was a tot. My dad took me to ride on the ponies so my mom could sleep in. I've been a horse fanatic ever since. I've been in a drill team and parade unit, showed western horses from the time I was 15 to 18. Switched to Peruvian Pasos after a hiatus of school, kids, and work. Showed those and won with them. My family bred Peruvian Pasos for almost twenty years.

I love horses. All of my writing has horses in it somewhere. Horses are master teachers and psychologists. Best teachers of assertiveness I've ever seen: Learn to be assertive, or sit in the barnyard.

Who am I? The woman who did all that. The being who lives in my skin. The opening to a larger world. The one who wishes you well.

Sandy Nathan